Joy Of Dawn

Each new day shows His grace, love, and mercy

The Antique Artist

This is the picture I was drawing when the idea came to me for this story.

This is the picture I was drawing when the idea came to me for this story.

The shop door opened with a slight jiggle of bells. Amy glanced up from behind the counter, “Good Morning!” Her cheerful voice surprised the old couple.

“Good Morning,” they replied almost in unison.

“Sweet couple,” thought Amy. As always she wondered how they might have met and what stories they could tell. She never knew how to ask and she wasn’t sure she’d have to courage to anyway.

An hour past while Amy sketched a picture of a girl sitting along the bank of a stream. She often sketched while she was at the antique shop.

“Eddy, isn’t that just a beautiful picture!”

Startled, Amy blushed.

“Your quite an artist,” the lady told Amy.

“Thank you! I do like to do some drawing.”

“Have you ever taken art classes?”

Amy replied, “Only a couple through our homeschool group but now that I’m graduated I won’t be attending those anymore.”

“Oh, do you plan to go to college,” the lady enquired. Her husband looked just as interested in knowing the answer.

Amy hated this question. She knew that she would dissappoint them but it was her decision and she was willing to stand by it no matter what anyone else thought about it. “No. I’m not planning on attending college. I think that twelve years of school is quite enough for me.”

“Oh, I see.”

“Don’t mind Edith. She loves art.” Her  husband told Amy, “She used to teach art but now she retired and just puts paintings and drawing up all over the house.” He smiled at his wife as she wondered over to look at some pictures up in the display window.

As usual Amy didn’t know what to say so she just smiled and finished calculating up the receipt for the items they had brought up to the counter.

The man paid for the purchase and the couple left the shop. Amy sighed and looked back down at her picture. Was she really an artist? It was a nice picture but did she really have the tallent to be an artist? It wasn’t a goal in her life, she just liked to draw and use pastels. She enjoyed  watching things come to life on paper. She knew there was a lot that she still had to learn but she was content with what she knew right know.

As the day passed with other costomers. She tucked the picture in the back of her binder and forgot about it.

 

Okay this is how far I’ve gotten. Tell me what you think! Be honest I really want to know. This is a very recent idea. I have some thoughts on how to continue but the complete end is still in the making.

This story is just for fun. The idea came to mind while I was very busy, of course. I do some times work at an antique shop and I do sometimes draw while I’m there but this expirience never happened to me. Actually I sometimes fear that it will. I think that is what brought the idea to life.

I will continue the rest when it is better formed in my mind and let you know what I’ve got. Can’t wait to see you comments!

P.S. I’m not set on the name of my character or my title. I just came up with the title today and the name Amy is just kind of a starter for most of my girl characters.

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August 6, 2009 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , ,

8 Comments »

  1. I think you should name her Amber and she should use spellcheck.

    Comment by Rambling Dave | August 7, 2009 | Reply

  2. And its a nice drawing…

    Comment by Rambling Dave | August 7, 2009 | Reply

  3. Thanks Dad! 🙂 You silly… I’ll keep that in mind.

    Comment by joyofdawn | August 8, 2009 | Reply

  4. Hey there 🙂 Thanks for posting your excerpt, that’s very brave of you! You asked for some feedback, so I’ve thought of a little bit to give. I mean it with utmost respect, as I know how hard it is to put your stuff out there for the world to see. As a fellow writer, I’d hope people would be honest with me, too. So, here are a few thoughts —

    First: I’ve read, often, that it’s better to show than tell. For instance, instead of saying, “Her cheerful voice surprised the old couple,” turn this into some unique, descriptive, powerful ideas. Perhaps give us an image of something very tangible – something we can see in our minds. Maybe something about the old lady’s wrinkled hand slamming the door shut on accident due to the surprise – in that, we get a startled reaction and something very visible to relate to, like the wrinkles (which show that she’s old).

    Second: Get us into Amy’s world. Make it unique, interesting, not just your everyday girl in your everyday shop. You could say something to the effect of, “Amy was at her boring antique store job, just like every Saturday morning. She’d rather be drawing at home, drinking coffee in her pajamas. Instead, she sat on the steel stool, drinking in the musty air of tired trinkets. A hunched man with a cane held the door open for his wife. ‘Good morning,’ Amy said. She always fascinated herself with her uncanny ability to sound so bubbly while feeling so excruciatingly bored to tears.” Or something like that. Make us care about her. Is she drawing for fun? Does she love her job, or hate it? Give us relatable sensations, like musty smells and uncomfortable stools.

    Third: Conflict. In my opinion, you need a little more of it. The first idea that popped into my head concerns the old people. Perhaps they look sweet and unassuming, but they’re really out to steal something extremely valuable that only exists in the store where Amy works. They distract her, compliment her, and seem sweet and innocent and old – all while having ulterior motives behind her back, tricking her into trusting them. That’s kind of a drastic example of conflict; you can infuse it a little more subtly by doing things I mentioned in the previous paragraph. Make her world a little harder, like she’d rather be at home instead of working. Even her pencil breaking as she draws would add conflict. Things like that.

    Last: Figure out your grand plan for Amy. She needs something to overcome, maybe a few things to overcome. She needs a place to start, a place to end, and lost of obstacles in between that make her journey interesting, believable, and exciting. She’s gotta be human – with redeeming qualities and flaws. She’s got to succeed and fail. And there have got to be a handful of people supporting her, as well as fighting against her. Perhaps the old people can be both: the lady takes her under her wing, mentors her, inspires her. Then, come to find out, she’s just been using her all along to get to the precious object in the store. She works with her, but against her the whole time. Amy trusts her, but when she finds out the truth, she questions everything she knows – is she really good at drawing, or were those lies? Now, her problem becomes two-fold – getting over her insecurities with art, and stopping the old people from stealing the precious object.

    Anyway! Just some ideas. I know you said this was just for fun, but I had a fun time coming up with ideas. Feel free to use them if you like them. I think it could be a really fun story to write (and read!) if you put a lot of time into developing it. 🙂 Good luck!!

    Comment by owlandsparrow | August 10, 2009 | Reply

  5. Thanks for the ideas. I have some of my own but it is always interesting to hear and think about other people! That gives me new ideas too! So Thanks!
    I’ve read and heard about plenty of the things you told me about but sometimes it is hard to see how to use it. Your showing me where it should go is very helpful.
    This story is just for fun and very recently developed but I do want it to become a full story! To get all the kinks worked out in the end and be able to say that I’ve completed something. That would be nice! 🙂
    Thanks for commenting!
    I’m taking it all to heart. Letting it seep in and go to work in my brain. Hope to have some updates soon! 🙂

    Comment by joyofdawn | August 11, 2009 | Reply

  6. You’re welcome! I’m glad it was a little helpful – I’d heard all that kind of advice before, too, but only when I saw actual examples did I actually understand how to put it into practice. I’m in the editing phase of my book right now, and I’m having to do this kind of thing all over the place to my first draft. It’s kinda hard, because it requires me to take the story I’ve written and look at it from completely new angles in order to make it deeper and better.

    I’m excited to hear about your journey in figuring out how best to lay out your ideas, and work out all the kinks. It’s neat that no single author knows THE way to write a book – I love reading about other people’s processes because everyone’s different, and different things work for different people. I’ll keep my eye out for your updates! 🙂

    Comment by owlandsparrow | August 11, 2009 | Reply

  7. It’s a great start! I didn’t know you drew! Nice picture! You’ll have to show me more of your art work.

    Ps. Is this a story kind of about you?? 🙂

    Comment by Rebekah | August 11, 2009 | Reply

  8. I very much enjoy drawing. I even put a picture in the fair once. It is just fun to see it come to life!

    Yes, the story is kind of about myself. I never really had this experience before and there wasn’t any old couples but it fit into the story line very nicely. I do sometimes draw at the shop and that is when the story idea developed!
    What I thought was going to be the begining did not turn out to be so. I love to see all the peices fit together! Taking them apart an cutting is the hard part.

    Comment by joyofdawn | August 12, 2009 | Reply


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