Joy Of Dawn

Each new day shows His grace, love, and mercy

Not Living Your Dream

Sometimes life gets so frustrating. Mostly due to the people involved in your daily life. Really they are trying to be helpful. Honestly they want what is best for you, because they care and love you… at least most of them feel that way. It just gets to the point where you feel like you’re getting all this ‘advice’ flooding in you can’t remember what you think, you can’t even hear your thoughts anymore. You can beg God for answers but… it is getting hard to figure out which answers are His, and which are everyone else’s.

The obvious answer to all this is escape. Run away from it. Go live all on your own and let the world of people forget you exist. Except… your afraid of being alone. And… Honestly… You know you couldn’t live twenty-four hours without contacting at least half a dozen of people you care about most. Living all alone isn’t really an answer, it isn’t even a possibility, just an option… one that you wouldn’t take even if you could.

It isn’t like they are controlling your life. Not even trying in this case. Just want you to live it exactly the way they think you should. Live it the way they dreamed you would. Surely if you live the way you currently are… You’ll utterly embarrass them and then… the rest of the world of people will talk and judge… Maybe they’ll see you as human like everyone else. Now wouldn’t that be a horrible shame. (Yeah that was sarcasm there…)

Sorry this isn’t all cheery with sunshine and smiles and rainbow in the sky. I can still see all those as everything I’m dealing with is just one piece of my existence. I do what I can not to live in it for too long. How depressing would that be?! Besides… it is just to in-depth at the moment to clearly see anything. I’m not going to be perfect. Never claimed I could be. What I have always promised is to be the best me I can be in the sight of my Heavenly Father. What I’m willing to promise is to continue loving all the people who come into my tiny amount of time here on Earth. What I can tell you is I’m going to do the best I can for the people I love most. It might not be what anyone expects. It probably won’t even be their dreams and deepest desires. In the end all I can hope is that they will continue to find a place in their hearts, where they will still hold, at least, the tiniest amount of love for me.

I’m struggling through this world like anyone else. I’m trying to do my best to please the God that brought me into existence. To live the life He had intended for me. To follow the voice He whispers into my ear. I’d love to have the ability to do everything everyone expects and make them happy all the time… but I don’t have that power. All I can hope to do is a little right by all the people I mean most to and mean the most to me. All I can hope is that I’ll never lose my love for all the people I know. All I can hope is when my race is run… when my life is spent… I’ll have done the best I could through the grace and mercy of the God who gave me every breath of which I partook.

He loves me and through Him I will love you. Maybe… just maybe one day in the future, when you look back through all the years… Maybe I wont have disappointed you too badly.


January 23, 2014 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , ,


  1. Hope whatever you are struggling with doesn’t last long and leaves you a stronger person for whatever it is/was. Keep your eye on God…that’s the best we all can do! *hugs*

    Comment by orthodoxmom3 | January 24, 2014 | Reply

    • Thanks 🙂 God always knows what He doing …even I don’t 🙂

      Comment by joyofdawn | January 24, 2014 | Reply

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